Medically Reviewed by Annamarie Coy, BA, ICPR, MATS
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Al-Anon is an international mutual support group for people who have been affected by someone else’s drinking problem.
Al-Anon and A.A. are similar but different. Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) is intended for alcoholics, while Al-Anon is intended for their families.
Al-Anon allows participants to share common experiences. It teaches principles that enable families and friends of alcoholics to bring about positive changes.
Membership to Al-Anon is voluntary and requires only that the member’s own life has been adversely affected by someone else’s drinking problem.
Al-Anon was founded in 1951 by Lois Wilson (also known as Lois W.), 16 years after her husband founded Alcoholics Anonymous.
Al-Anon is the most popular form of help for people concerned about a loved one’s drinking. They have over 14,000 groups in the United States and Canada.
Al-Anon is not a counseling agency, a religious organization, or a treatment center. The group does not charge any dues or fees. Instead, they are self-supported through member donations.
How Does Al-Anon Help People?
Al-Anon can help people better cope with a loved one’s drinking. It can also provide support with stressors related or unrelated to drinking.
Members of Al-Anon attribute improved psychological health (less depression, anger), improved relationships, and overall family satisfaction to attending Al-Anon meetings.
Al-Anon Family Family Groups helps people by utilizing two distinct support programs: Al-Anon and Alateen.
Alateen is a fellowship designed for the younger relatives and friends of alcoholics through the teen years. By attending Alateen, teenagers (13 to 18) can meet other teenagers in similar situations.
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Most meetings start with a reading of Al-Anon’s Twelve Step program. These steps are adapted from the 12 Step program of Alcoholics Anonymous.
The twelve steps are as follows:
The twelve steps have been a spiritual growth tool for millions of Al-Anon and Alateen members. At meetings, Al-Anon and Alateen members share the personal lessons they have learned from practicing these steps.
Has your life been affected by someone else’s drinking? Al-Anon is made to help people who have been personally impacted by alcoholism, rather than being an alcoholic themselves.
Al-Anon offers a safe space to connect with other people who have experienced similarities. Through guided weekly meetings, attendees can connect and heal with other like minded participants.
It’s important to know what to expect from an Al-Anon meeting before arriving. That way, you can feel prepared and comfortable in your environment.
Al-Anon meetings are held in a variety of locations, including local schools, churches, and hospitals.
Al-Anon meetings are held seven days a week, day and night. All meetings start at a specific time and most last about an hour or so. Some have no formal closing time. Attendees can come into a meeting or leave anytime they choose.
Al-Anon meetings offer a safe place where people can come and talk about dealing with the effects of alcoholism.
Participants do not have to speak, but many newcomers find it helpful to share their experiences.
Al-Anon places high importance on anonymity at their meetings. Participants only go by first names and keep personal information shared in the room anonymously.
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Al-Anon has three sets of guiding principles called Three Legacies. These include:
The 12 Traditions of Al-Anon guide meetings and the behavior of the meeting coordinators and spokespeople.
The 12 Traditions include:7
The 12 Concepts of Service summarize the Al-Anon principles that help their service organizations function in harmony together.
The 12 Concepts of Service include:7
The Al-Anon program includes several simple, familiar, easy-to-remember slogans that members have found helpful for coping with various circumstances.
Slogans include “How Important is It?,” “Easy Does it,” “One Day at a Time,” and “Keep an Open Mind.”2
Receipting these slogans during stressful or triggering situations is said to help members move through these circumstances with more ease.
At Al-Anon, they believe that all conversations should be helpful, constructive, and understanding.
These include:
These themes, topics, or ways of conversing are thought to distract members from their overall goal of recovery.
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Al-Anon advocates for detachment, or separating oneself from the adverse effects of another person’s alcoholism.3
In some cases, detachment may also require physically separating from the alcoholic. Detachment enables a person in a relationship with an alcoholic to live a happier and more manageable life.
A “qualifier” in Al-Anon refers to the alcoholic person who inspired the member to join Al-Anon.5
Membership to Al-Anon requires that the participant have someone close to them who struggles with alcoholism to be part of the program.
The person in their life with a drinking problem would be the “qualifier.” By referring to them only with the term “qualifier,” the member can speak about the alcoholic while retaining anonymity.
The Al-Anon Family Groups (B-5), written by Lois B., is intended as Al-Anon’s big book.
All A.A. literature is written for and from the viewpoint of alcoholics and is not Al-Anon/Alateen Conference Approved Literature. Reliance on opinions expressed in A.A. and other outside publications can distort the Al-Anon approach, particularly for a newcomer.
Al-Anon’s 12 steps are intended as guidelines to promote harmony and growth in Al-Anon groups and the worldwide fellowship of Al-Anon as a whole.
Al-Anon utilizes the “Serenity Prayer,” which reads: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”9
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